Features and Amenities

We’ve spared no expense in designing every Big Bob’s RV Park to be environmentally friendly. When you stay at Big Bob’s, you and your family can rest assured the planet will be better off when you leave than it was before your arrived. Here’s why:

  • In our Big Bob’s RV Park in Bedsore, Mississippi, we successfully tested, deployed, and received EPA approval for our patent-pending SHIT (Sewage Handling Is Thankless) System. Comprising an open-tank septic reservoir, SHIT’s open-air design doesn’t trap noxious gases, and it hastens decomposition. No more septic tanks, No more clogged pipes. Just back your RV up to the pit, open the drainage valve on your black-water tank, let it drain into the SHIT System, and you’re done. How easy is that? It’s like SHIT through a goose.
  • The SHIT System converts the methane from the reservoir in propane. The propane is piped to each RV Site, giving our guests free access to unlimited amounts of propane. (We like to say we’ll never run out of propane because everybody’s full of SHIT.) No drilling. No fracking. No problem.
  • The 7,000-volt electric security fences that surround every Big Bob’s RV Park are solar-powered. To ensure the fences are working properly, we put signs saying, “Free Propane at Big Bob’s RV Park,” on the highways near each Big Bob’s location. If there’s a fried propane poacher on the fence every morning, we know it’s working just fine. Our liability insurance premiums and our legal fees are through the roof. But it’s worth it keep our campers safe and our carbon footprint small.
  • The trained attack dogs we have patrolling each of our Big Bob’s RV Parks are trained to do their business in the SHIT reservoir. So, you and your little ones can roam our Parks barefoot without fear of stepping in an errant puddle or pile.
  • Our Shower and Restroom facilities are sanitized three times a day with a combination of bleach and radioactive isotopes from nuclear plants to eliminate any possibility of disease, infection, or cooties. This conforms to our Clean Bathroom, Clean Planet philosophy. And it helps to reduce the stockpiles of radioactive waste at nuclear plants. And for the gender dysphoric, please know we have Shower and Restroom facilities for every preference:

– Traditional men’s and women’s for binary folks

– Neutral, so you identify any way you like, any day of the week

– Undecided for the profoundly confused or for those who may want to change the way they identify once they see who else is in there

– Free Spin, the most popular choice, which lets folks pick a number and spin a wheel. Those with the numbers that come up on the first two spins win a shower together. Big Bob met his wife, Big Bertha on a Free Spin (after convincing Big Bertha to switch numbers with a 350-pound dude named Tiny).

Locations

We hope to see you at one of our locations soon:

  • Bedsore, Mississippi
  • Burnt Scrub, Arkansas
  • Toothless, Georgia
  • Uncle Daddy, Alabama
  • Pea Can, Louisana
  • McKinney, Texas (coming summer, 2021)

Note To Investors

We have a master plan — Il Grande Piano Del Formaggio — to make Big Bob’s the largest RV Park provider in the U.S. by 2030. We have five locations today, with our sixth and most spectacular one scheduled to open this summer in McKinney, Texas. If you’re interested in investing in the Parks or in purchasing a Big Bob’s franchise, now’s the time. As soon as our C-minus rating at Standard and Poor’s gets a little less poor, bargain-basement prices will be gone forever. Act now before the SHIT hits the fan.

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least
try to do something remarkable?”

“Big Bob’s”